Sussex Golf Captains
Sussex v Kent
A tale of Lamb’s slaughtered, Butchers butchered and a great day's golfing.
Eastbourne Downs played host to the carnage. The day was set fair, with dry, slightly overcast conditions, a gentle breeze and very friendly rough. Everything was set for a scoring bonanza, and my, was there some good scoring.
With the season drawing to a close, Richard was keen to get another win under his belt. Beating the Kents would be a good way to do that. So, what happened?
Match 1
Richard Jays (Captain) and Joe Angella v Mike Stephens (Pres) and Brad Smith (Captain)
This was a very close game, with steady scoring and a few birdies. The Kents played well. When one made a mistake, the other stepped in. Between them, they never missed a fairway, which, TBF, was a bit annoying. After a lot of toing and froing, Mike and Brad went to the last one up. Joe and Richard mangled their drives and lost the match. Lost 2 Down.
Match 2
Phil Williamson and Ian Potter v Graeme Snell and Karl Howard
The home team started well. ‘Harry’ Potter waved his magic wand and produced some scintillating golf. He was one under gross after 5. Karl gave us lots of shots, which was nice. Every time he got a birdie, we got a par with a shot. How we laughed! The highlight of the round was Harry’s net eagle, and his 75-foot put on 15. Great company and a great match, but today, we were too strong for them. Won 5&4
Match 3
Andy Plowright and Keith Talbot v Peter Morris and Dave Skinner
Keith refused to write the review, and I walked out in sympathy. (Secondary strike action and picketing are unlawful. Ed) Keith hit a beauty down the first, which was his shot of the day. After that, he was hopeless. You’d think he’d never swung a club before. As for the VC, there wasn’t a gorse bush he couldn’t miss, and his putting…the less said about that, the better. No wonder they were sulky. Not only that, they lost to Pete and Dave, two more noted foozlers of the old pill you’d struggle to meet. (Shameful. Ed) Lost 3&2
Match 4
John Luke and Mitch Clark v Brian Gallagher and J Mabbs
A great time. Lovely company, some jammy putts from Mitch. We all enjoyed ourselves, and there was some great golf. Won 3&2.
Match 5
Tom Hutchinson and David Balfour v Colin Russell and Nigel Digweed
We had a great game with Nigel and Colin, nip and tuck until halfway, when we started to pull away. A chip-in birdie nailed it. It was a tight match that could have gone either way. Won 5&4 (I don’t think it could. Ed)
Match 6
Ian Richmond and Des ‘Multi-ball’ Malcolm v Foster and C Hill
Des lived up to his nickname, losing four balls, but we still won the match. We were behind until the fourteenth hole, when we took the lead, a birdie on 16 made it ‘dormy’. Victory was ours with a half on 17. Ian apologised for the birdie play. As ever, good company and a fun day. Won 2 up
Match 7
John Macauley and Malcolm Holmes v A Gee and J Barnes
After the Kents both lost a ball on the first, we hoped they would continue in that vein. We managed to hang on to reach the turn one up. Malcolm’s birdie on 16 won the match. Lovely company and good fun. Won 2&1
Match 8
Norman Beaney and Alan Butcher v J Martinez and D Robert
Norman Beaney (sheep farmer) and Alan Butcher got absolutely slaughtered, deboned, chopped, dressed and trussed for display. Norman said, in all his years playing golf, he has never been so soundly beaten. We lost 7&5, tears were shed. Lost 7&5
Match 9
Peter Hawley and Paul Warley v Andy Payne and Paul Roberts
A great game, we were up and down all the way round. A Sussex victory was achieved with the last putt on the 18th. Won 1 up
Match 10
Mick Grimes and Andy ‘To the slaughter’ Lamb v T Hogan and Richard Lamb (Relation)
In line with the theme of butchery, slaughter and massacre, we come to the final match. Every year, the Lamb brothers face off against each other in an epic tale of sibling rivalry. Before today, Andy was leading. All that was about to change. Richard played out of his skin. Sussex were slaughtered, flayed, skinned and minced by the wolf in lamb’s clothing. Andy Lamb lost to his brother 7&5. (The Sussex team found this hilarious. Ed)
Result
Sussex 6 – Kent 4
Another brilliant day of golf. As you can see from the pictures, it was a lot of fun. This was Kent’s first loss of the season. It was kind of Harry to remind them that their only loss last year was to Sussex. One wit asked, “Can we play you every week?”.
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